“ A recent survey showed that 16 – 25 year olds spend on average sixteen minutes and seven attempts to take the perfect selfie.” – The ‘Ugly Truth’ about Body Dysmorphic Disorder, BBC News.
Selfie:“ A photograph that one has taken of oneself, typically one taken with a smartphone or webcam and shared via social media.”
This article has inspired me to explore ‘selfies’ a lot further. In relation to my essay topic on body dysmorphia, I have decided to manipulate seven selfies (the average amount that people normally take) and edit them, in order to represent body dysmorphia and how the sufferer sees themselves.
Distorted appearance – many sufferer’s see a minor issue as a major flaw.
Contorted effect.
Pixel effect that distorts the facial experience.
I have made this selfie (see above) closely relate to how I saw myself prior to my jaw surgery. I disliked my chin as I thought it looked too big and i thought my cheeks were huge and looked definition.
When I looked in the mirror or had my photograph taken, I saw the face of a young child.
When my underbite became more problematic, I began to find ways to hide the ‘flaw’ by pulling a face, pouting, having my face on an angle or hiding the bottom half of my face behind a glass, hand or person.
Blur effect.
I drew a child-like illustration over my face depicting how I once saw myself.
As part of my COP2 research, I had to include an experience which relates to my essay topic. I have decided to look at body dysmorphia after undergoing surgery over the summer. The experience has made me more self-aware of certain issues that I believe should be addressed more clearly.
X-ray from the day after my surgery – 22/08/15
In spring 2014, my facial appearance became more worrying to me, before I turned eighteen. It was at this time when I was beginning to become more self-conscious and paranoid about my appearance.
May 2013 – I had my top brace fitted.
11th September 2013 – Jaw surgery – my upper jaw was too narrow so this procedure involved breaking and expanding my upper jaw. Over the next few months, I had to have a metal plate across the roof of my mouth which made talking and eating difficult.
ENDLESS orthodontist appointments…
21st August 2015 – final jaw surgery.
I was told by my orthodontist and surgeon that this would not make a ‘major’ difference to my facial appearance but I was able to notice slight changes.
At that time, I was very accepting and understanding, especially as I was pinning my hopes on hat fact that I would be having my final operation the following year. Unfortunately, I was told towards the end of 2013 that I was to await another eighteen months before I was to be considered for my final surgery. I remember feeling really disappointed but I knew that it was important to remain optimistic and positive throughout.
Beforehand, I could not even put into words how I was feeling. When I turned eighteen, I knew that the world was my oyster and there were fresh and exciting opportunities coming my way, such as starting my degree. Although, I began to slowly become obsessive about my facial appearance which became even more prominent to my family members in 2014.
I began going out in Leeds a lot more but I started to cake myself in more make-up and I would go out and buy more clothes. I tried to make myself look older as I did not feel nineteen when I looked in the mirror and saw this child-like face. I don’t like to use the word ‘hate’ but I genuinely began to hate the way I looked. My mouth was tiny, my profile was hideous and I thought my cheeks and chin were massive and it was as though I had never grown into my face.
I began comparing myself to my friends who seemed to ooze confidence when we were out. I tried avoiding photographs and whenever, I took them myself, I would find ways to hide my ‘flaw’ by hiding the bottom half of my face behind a glass, having my face on an angle or even pouting (to give my cheeks some sort of definition). I thought that this was normal behaviour and I did not even think about my obsessive actions until my Mum told me when I returned home from the hospital that she and my Dad had been becoming concerned that I was displaying signs of body dysmorphia. This completely shocked me.
On 21st August 2015, I underwent my final jaw surgery.
My upper jaw was broken and detached – raised on the left hand side and moved forward by 6mm and fixed into the new position with four titanium plates and sixteen screws.
In all honesty, I was petrified at the prospect of it but my excitement was to counteract any nerves as I had been waiting so long for this moment.
I was supposed to undergo double jaw surgery. However, my surgeon came to see me when I was put on the ward and told me that my upper jaw only had to be operated on. In my drowsy state, I remember feeling a rush of panic as I was concerned that my surgery would not have made any difference to my appearance. Though, he reassured me that you could notice the difference already. As family members came to visit, I was to still seek reassurance that my underbite had been fixed.
It is all psychological – in these three months since my surgery, it still has not been easy, as I have still been having to be reassured that my underbite has gone. Although, I am starting to become more accepting and I am slowly starting to gain confidence. However, I am still nervous at the thought of having my photograph taken as I look and still see my underbite.
I still think it is going to take a long time before I feel ‘me’ and feel comfortable in my own skin but I am getting there!
It has most definitely been an eye-opening experience and for me, it has made me more self-aware of the issues surrounding mental health and body dysmorphia.
David Hockney is an English artist, who was born in Bradford on 9th July, 1937.
In 1963, a year after graduating from the Royal College of Art in London, Hockney first visited Los Angeles. He returned there a year later, with intermittent trips to Europe, before he returned to London in 1968. In 1976, he returned to Los Angeles where he set up a permanent home.
In California, he discovered that everyone had a swimming pool due to the climate and because of this, they were used all year round. Furthermore, they were not considered a luxury, though in Britain the temperature is too cold for most of the year.
Between 1964 and 1971, he created a variety of swimming pool paintings. In each one of these paintings, he attempted an alternative way of representing the ever-changing surface of the water.
“A Bigger Splash”, acrylic paint on canvas, 1967
“Swimming Pool 1978 – 80” – Lithograph printed in colours on white
“Portrait of an Artist (Pool with two figures)”, acrylic on canvas, 1972.
I recently came across the work of French – born illustrator, Mügluck. This Montreal – based artist experiments with a variety of different mediums but I have been particularly drawn to her water colour paintings, especially her vibrant ‘Swimming Pool’ ones.
I find Mügluck’s paintings to be extremely playful and full of character. I adore the illustrations of the swimmers as the shapes are irregular, yet it makes the work look really distinctive as the bodies are out of proportion and it makes the piece look really eye-catching. As well as that, I find the use of colour to be rather interesting as she has opted for a contrast between warm and cold colours. You have these juicy, citrus shades with the yellow, orange and red but then come in these sharp, icy blues.
In the swimming pool painting (see above), the use of mark marking within the swimming pool itself, is really pleasing to the eye. It makes the pool look lively and full of life, especially with the swimmers diving, leaping, floating and genuinely enjoying being in the water. There is a lot of overlapping of shapes and different patterns which help to capture the movement within the water as well as the texture. I like as well how some of the characters are blending within the water, so looking at the painting is a bit like a game of ‘Where’s Wally?’ but I think this makes it look really fun and unique.
Evie Martin 